Too busy to be grateful??

Seriously. I am soooo busy. Two kids is A LOT! I like to kinda try to do as much parenting as I can without any help, to prepare myself for when I'm not surrounded by extra adults. Chancellor just will not let you ignore you. Ever. She is happy and loud and energetic and always wants you to play with her. Alek is still new, and cries and sleeps and needs to be held. When I'm lucky, I get two showers a week, but it's usually just one. I make food for Chance 3 times a day. I make food for me and Aaron three times a day. I literally MAKE FOOD for Alek, about 8 times a day. I try to clean, but find that my children always need me right when I start. I was going to start learning to belly dance via fitTV, but I only got to do a couple episodes before that routine was ruined. Every moment of every day is taking care of children.

I used to want to write. I guess I still do. Everybody wants to do something. Write, dance, sing, paint, run, whatever. Everyone wants to be really good at something. I wanted to be a really good screenwriter. It's often hard for me to realize that the thing I'm really good at is being a mom. For some reason motherhood tends to not fit into the same category as things people get paid for.

But most of all it's just hard to stay positive while I'm living with my parents. It really sucks having no way to support my family. I want my own home! It's not fun being the mother in a family of four, and having your own parents leave you chore lists and tell you to wash dishes. In MY house, it's okay to leave the dishes dirty for a while so I can have a little moment to play with my kids, or maybe even relax. It's really hard to remember that this isn't my house. It's hard to remember that I am sooo lucky to have parents this nice. And as much as I want to run my life the way I would if I weren't living with them, I need to keep remembering that they're being nice enough to support my family in our timeof need, and I should just go ahead and empty the dishwasher.